Can You Find The Beauty In The Broken Pieces
by SereneCalamity
Summary: Based during 4x03. Clarke follows after Bellamy after he writes her name down on the list. Bellarke. Oneshot.


**So this one is canon-ish. It is based in 4x03, when Clarke is writing out the list and Bellamy adds her name. Because, hell, my heart. _Why_ didn't something happen between them then?**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, and the title comes from _Hollow_ by Chainsmokers. **

Clarke Griffin's heart was thundering in her chest as she walked through the door that Bellamy Blake had just gone through. When he had told her to get some rest, she doubted that he had meant to get some rest _with him_. She was pretty sure she had made up her mind when he had put his hand on her shoulder and she rested her cheek against it, felt that warmth on her skin.

She didn't think he would be surprised, though.

There had been something between them for a long time.

This friction had been building and building and at some point, it was going to spark and catch fire.

She needed that _now_.

Making that list of one hundred people—deciding who was going to _live or die_ —that made it feel like the last bit of her soul that she had been trying to protect since they had first crashed down on Earth had disappeared. She had never planned to put her name on that list either, there was nothing more special about her than any of the other people that she had carefully chosen. She knew that Bellamy would argue with his name on the list, but the people needed a leader.

And she knew that there was no way she couldn't bear it if Bellamy's name wasn't on there.

He had done too much, given up too much, survived too much not to be on there.

Bellamy would live, even if she didn't.

Clarke got to his room and rapped her knuckles on the door of the room where Bellamy was staying. At one point he had been sharing it with Jasper Jordan, but no one really knew what was going on in Jasper's head anymore, and he had long ago stopped sleeping in a bed like a normal person, so Bellamy got the full room to himself.

Which worked well for what she wanted right now.

What she needed.

"Princess?" Bellamy asked as he opened the door. "Everything okay?" Clarke swallowed hard, her fingers curling and unfurling at her side as she thought about what she was going to do.

The line had been one that they had both tentatively drawn a long time ago, without either of them ever speaking about it, and as soon as she leaned forward and made her move, that line would be crossed and they would never be able to go back. They would be propelled forward into this mess that they really didn't need to deal with right now because there was already so much going on.

But she wanted to be selfish.

She wanted to forget how broken she was, and how much they had lost, and fall with him.

"Look, if this is to start an argument about how your name doesn't belong on that list..." Bellamy shook his head and ran a hand over his face before his eyes focused on her. He was shirtless, only wearing his pants, and Clarke's mouth felt dry with the idea of what she was going to be doing. "I'm not fucking talking about it. You put me on there, and I can tell you right now, there's no way in _hell_ I'm stepping foot into the ship without you there at my side." It was the intensity of his eyes and the sincerity in his voice that tipped her over the edge and finally made up her mind.

She leapt at him.

Bellamy looked surprised for about half a second, but he caught her, one hand securely under her left thigh and the other wrapping around her back. Their lips came together and Clarke felt this huge rush of emotion through her and this pressure behind her eyes, and it just felt so _right_ , and like they had been waiting for this fro _such a long time_ , that it felt like she was going to start crying.

His lips felt even softer than she had ever imagined, and his hands were strong and steady as he kicked out one leg to slam shut his door and then turn around and carry her over to his bed. As soon as he dropped her down, ass to the rumpled blankets, things were thrown into fast forward and the pair of them couldn't stand the clothing between them. Not a word was spoken as they hurriedly undressed, tugging at clothes from each other and then one another, not really caring about any finesse, just trying to get naked as quickly as possible.

And then, when they were both naked, Bellamy stretched out over her and he was kissing her again, their bodies pressed together. Clarke couldn't hold back her whine as his hard cock pressed against the centre of her legs. Bellamy heard the whine and his tongue was searching out her mouth as though he wanted to taste that sound coming out of her throat. One of Clarke's hands went to his hair, tugging at the shaggy brown hair that was just getting longer and longer, and she was adoring every inch of it. The other hand went to his back, scratching her way down the rippling muscles before she reached his ass, and gave it a hard squeeze.

"Shit," Bellamy growled out, pulling his lips away from hers, his eyes closed as he let out a shaky breath. When they opened, he looked down at her, scanning over her face. Her lips were parted and her breathing was heavy and her blue eyes were glinting as she looked up at him. "Are you sure you want to do this? There's..." he licked his tongue along his lower lip, taking in a deep breathe before continuing. "There's no way I can pretend that this didn't happen, Clarke. There's no way _in hell_ ," his words vibrated with sincerity and Clarke's stomach twisted.

"I'm positive," Clarke responded, her voice shaking a little at how on edge she was right now. Bellamy nodded once, and then dipped his head to bring their lips back together. Their tongues played together, one of Bellamy's hands bracing himself over her beside her head, while the other trailed down her torso, over her collarbone, towards her breasts. Clarke's whole body arched upward, pressing her breast into his hand and Bellamy's fingers brushed over her nipple.

"I promise next time we'll go slower," Bellamy said, only pulling back enough to be able to frame the words against her lips. "I promise that next time I'll go slower..." he nipped at her lower lip before his nose nudged hers. "I promise that next time, I'll kiss you fucking _everywhere_ , and I'll bury my tongue in here—" he rolled his hips forward, the head of his cock catching on her clit and making her moan. "—And I'll eat you until your whole body is shaking." Clarke's breathing was coming out even more laboured than before. "I promise that there are going to be a thousand more of these moments and I'm going to go slow, and take you apart, piece by piece, but right now..." he rolled his hips again, firmer this time, and his head caught on the slipperiness of her arousal. "Right now I just need to be in you," he breathed out the words in Clarke's ear and a full body shudder ran through. Her nails dug into the muscles of his shoulders, and her breathing was rugged as she lifted her head off the pillow to nip at his lips.

"Stop fucking talking and fuck me then," she hissed at him and Bellamy's mouth tipped upward in a smirk.

"Alright, Princess," he murmured and then with a simple pull back and thrust forward, he filled her and Clarke's eyes closed and her head fell back on the pillow. It felt as though there was a thousand tiny explosions going off over her skin, lights blooming behind her eyelids and she couldn't help but let out a long whine. When she opened her eyes again, Bellamy was stretched over her, and there was a similar expression on his face. His eyes were half-lidded and his lips were parted, breathing out heavily as he pulled out and then pushed back into her.

" _Fuck_ ," Clarke breathed out. Her fingernails pressed even further into his skin, and Bellamy winced at the pain, but he didn't complain, because he didn't care. That had always been him and Clarke. They were the good, mixed in with the bad. The pleasure, mixed in with the pain. The head, and the heart. They made each other _better_ because they clashed and then figured it out together. They were both broken, but they could see the beauty that the other still held.

And if he was being honest with himself, he had probably been a little bit in love with Clarke ever since they were back at the drop ship.

And if _Clarke_ was being honest with _herself_ , she had probably been a little bit in love with Bellamy ever since they were back at the drop ship.

That was a long time for these feelings to be building and growing and blooming, and now it felt as though all those feelings were exploding through both of their bodies right now. It had all built up to this point.

Neither of them said the words, but they could both feel it.

In the way that they were sharing breaths, and the way they were whispering one anothers name, and the way that both of their eyes were shining as they locked eyes.

When they fell asleep, Clarke tucked into Bellamy's side and their hearts beating in sync, it felt as though everything was _right_ , even if only for a little while.

 **Let me know what you think x**


End file.
